I set out today with a simple goal
in mind. My goal was to get away. I packed up some camping stuff, filled my
camelback and bottle, grabbed a melon and jumped in the car. What’s the melon
for you might ask? Well, it seemed fun! Head out into the woods and see how
long I could make it with only water and melon. I drove an hour or so until I found
what seemed to be a good spot to leave my car for the night. The day was hot,
but not unbearably. After only a few hundred yards, I came to the river bank. I
took off my shoes and crossed the South Platte. On the other bank was a large
rock which looked like a perfect place to dry off. I took off my pack, got out
my book and set off to reading. It is a book by the name of Aesop’s Fables.
Perhaps you’ve heard of it. It contains hundreds of short stories written
around 2600 years ago. These fables contain simple life rules in the form of a
story, one of the most famous being the boy who cried wolf. I typically don’t read
this type of book but when I saw it on a shelf one day I was drawn to it and immediately
started reading.
An hour or two passed sitting there
on that rock. Just reading, passing time, and slowly drifting off into a
relaxing sleep. As I returned to the world, a large dragonfly landed on a stick
just a foot or two from me. It was a strange creature with its large blue eyes
and a slender green body. Something about it captured my attention and I spent
the better part of the next ten minutes staring at it, just fascinated by the
complexity. Eventually it departed, leaving me eager to continue on the
adventure of my own. Full of fables of inspiration, just like the dragonfly, I was
ready to be on to the next place. I grew up in Littleton, but there is not much
for me here now.
Melon in bag, I set off. I wasn’t all
too sure where I was headed, but I figured up would be a good start. It seemed
as though the summit was only a mile or so away and it wouldn’t be too long
before I was there and could see where exactly I was. As I started to walk,
thoughts began to flood my mind. This is what I’m trying to escape, why have
they followed me here? I climbed the dry sandy hill while the questions
surrounded me. Why am I here? What am I doing? Is running into the woods going
to help at all? What is there for me at home? Where is home? How do I make the
next 8 days go by faster…
8 days. That’s all I have left now.
That’s when it starts. That’s when I get to stop trying to find ways to make
the days go by faster. 8 days really isn’t long at all! In the morning it will
be 7! One week! Only 8 more hours until I get to go to bed…. Now 7! The
thoughts buzzed around my head like a swarm of bees as I continued to climb.
Eventually the top drew near. I took a step back, and looked at the view around
me. It’s different than Montana. It’s… hard to explain how, but it just feels
different. I finished the climb to the top and the swarm of thoughts in my mind
seemed to vanish. 360* of mountains, rivers, trees and sky. A few roads off in
the distance. I feel alive, but before too long they were back. When I was in
Europe I learned to direct my thoughts and turn them into something productive.
Maybe I should try that, but where to start!
8 more days, Littleton, Montana,
England, Friends, Family, time, job, career, fun, love… The thoughts go on and
on. I found a large rock to sit on as my gaze floated off into the distance.
Eyes open, but seeing nothing. They are turned inward, trying to examine my
mind. I’m not sure how long I sat on that rock. I was completely lost in
thought, trying to pin down the source of the turmoil in my mind. First, the
sad thoughts, seems like a logical place to start, and maybe they’re hiding
something. I dig deeper and deeper. I feel the tears flood my eyes, but I’m not
there yet, so I push farther. Why am I in such a hurry? I feel… Lost. I thought
I had found myself, so where am I now? Maybe I should just go home and find
simple mindless ways to distract myself for the next 8 days. That’s what movies
are for right? Passing the time, making life go by faster. But why should I be
in a hurry to watch life go by? Suddenly the surroundings come into focus. I
gaze upon the vast expanses before me and inside me. There is so much more here
than I will ever know. I could spend a lifetime exploring them and still just
scratch the surface. I have no reason to be sad.
I came out here to get away from
everything. Well, I did it. Here I am. And now, as my thoughts begin to align
with my sight, a feeling crawls up from somewhere deep in my mind. I’ve been through
this before. Why am I here? The truth is, I ran away, but not from home, from
myself. I was starting to fall back into the old life I had lived. The pattern
seemed all too familiar. All the free time I had was spent wishing I was somewhere
else, but this is where was meant to be. 8 days! That’s all I have left! With friends,
with family… who knows when I’ll be back again or even if I’ll be back for that
matter! I shouldn’t be trying to get away from my friends and family, I should
be making the most of the few days I have left with them. I care about them!
Even if I do come back, will they still be here?
When the thought of going home
early first entered my mind, I considered it a failure. As I think about it
now, it no longer seems like failure. It has become a victory. Someone has to
be free tonight! I should be there! Who knows, this may be the last time I see
them for months, maybe even years. This is why I am here. I needed a reminder
of who I am. I needed to clear my head. As the shadows grow longer, I breathe
easy. My mind is at peace. The cool breeze fills me with excitement, 8 days! Pretty
much 7 now! I’ve got things to do and people to see! The mountains will always
be here. Adventure will always be here, but right now my heart is calling me
home, that is my adventure.
So in the end, I returned home, grateful
for the opportunity to remember what drives me forward. It turns out; sometimes
all you need is a little peace and quiet and some time to explore your melon.
Take the time to think about what really matters and don’t worry about the
little things. Life’s about the bigger picture. Go out and live! And remember
to explore your melon! (I’ve got an extra one in my pack if you need)
August 4th 2015
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